Kids Will Be Kids

The other night my friend Erin spent the night with my girls and me at our house. It was really nice because we got the fine opportunity to hang out and talk about all sorts of random things which is always fun. One subject in particular went on for a while, because some of us had different views than others, the subject was on raising children. One of my girls made this broad statement of how she will discipline her children, "Sit down. Shut up. Because I said so." And she said she would follow up with smacking them. I was pretty much offended at this. I would not agree with any part of what she said. If my authority was questioned by my future child, I would simply give them the logical reason of why I was going to discipline them, being the mature and logical adult I hope to be. My views on spanking? Nunya! I will not spank at all. I will not hit my kids, nor will I show them anger in any physical and illogical manner. I feel that spanking and hitting your kids is just an irrational way of venting your very own personal anger on your child. It's for parents who can't use their reasoning and logical skills in certain situations. To treat a child this way is morally and ethically wrong on so many levels. if a child doesn't know the exact reason that they're being punished, then how does one expect the child to learn from their mistake? After years of being raised in this unethical way, I took it upon myself to be the person that actually used their brain in said situations. When I realized this philosophy of not being given a logical reason to why I was being treated the way I was from my parents, I began to ask them why I was being punished. I wanted to know for future reference, so that I wouldn't repeat my mistakes. Of course, this took practice, and after a while my stormy life began to clear because we were no longer involving our emotions, rather logic. I understand it's okay to be mad sometimes, but not when you're in a dispute with someone. So in a way I was teaching my parents how to be parents to me. The fights began to dissolve and I was beginning to have hope again for my life. But all of this leads me to the fact that not only do I witness parents treating their kids illogically, but teachers as well. I think that just because children are technically younger than adults, does not inquire that they should be talked down to; talked to like a baby; talked to, no offense, in a rather "dumbed down" voice. Children are smarter than they let on! Want to know why we adults don't know this? It's because we intimidate them to the point where they're going to act the way we treat them: like children. I know I was a lot smarter growing up than I let people know. It was like they were expecting me to fail in the realm of intelligence. One thing I could not tolerate was the fact that adults would change their voices when talking to me. I'm talking elementary school and middle school. I remember one time I was at church and I was probably about 6 and my sister's friends would always come up to me saying, "Ohh you're soooo cute!!!" I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to be cute. I wanted to be treated differently; like a normal human being. Children aren't aliens, so why should they be treated any differently when spoken to? Today during clean up, while sanitizing the serving area, I was listening in on the children's lessen for the camp that's staying this week. The teacher used a shrill, and "dumbed down" voice when teaching them about Jesus Christ. It's kind of funny, actually, how royally peeved I was becoming the more I listened to her teaching methods. I remember when I was a kid and how much I hated the dumbed down voice my Sunday school teachers used. I would often think to myself, "Yes, Jesus does love me and you. But can you teach me something I haven't heard?!" For years growing up I never really learned too much in depth about the bible, even after attending Sunday school after sunday school, and AWANAs after AWANAs. It actually wasn't until this past year that I started going up to my pastors and asking them questions that I had been dying to know. I started gaining a better knowledge about things, not just about the bible, but about life in general. I wish I would have been taught the things I know now, when I was younger. My view is that it doesn't matter how old a person is, that they're never too young or too old to learn something new and true about God. What I'm saying is, I realized I shouldn't hold back any important information of life based on one's age. It doesn't say this anywhere in the bible, but I am positive that Jesus didn't use a baby voice when preaching to the multitudes. And in those multitudes, I am certain, that there were people of all ages; young and old. But I felt inadequate every time an adult would talk to me about something. In my mind, I would be so distracted by the tone they used, that sometimes I would zone out from them talking to me completely. I would think to myself, use your real, live, "adult voice"; don't make me feel small and puny by the way you talk. One of my fellow co-workers is set on the thought that I was never a child, but merely an adult trapped in an child's body. I'm not sure that's really the case, though. I just never wanted to feel inadequate based on my age. I love learning, but I will lose my interest really quickly if I feel the person talking to me is speaking in a condescending tone. It's rather rude and prideful in my view. I feel that everyone has at least heard Jesus loves them, but its just that some don't grasp the power of the fact that He loves us. He loves us. Now you know He loves you. But the thing is, I can't force you to understand the fact that He loves you. And you can't expect someone to understand this if you never explain it in a logical sense. Saying, "God loves you because He said so, " is way less powerful than saying it like this, "God sent His only son to die for your sins and to show His omnipotent power and love He has for you; to show His mercy and grace on us corrupted people." I don't know about you, but I like the second response more. I want the kids in this generation to grow up knowing more than I did at their age. The way to do it is not to be condescending towards them, but to accept the fact that they need the truth, and to not just think that whatever you tell them is going over their heads. They'll grasp the concept if God wants them to, and let me tell you, God wants them to! I say, don't be afraid to teach small kids if you're in the position to. Why hold back anything, and why pass up a chance to help produce an eternal fruit in their life? More to come.

-R