Reflections

Today, and lately for that matter, I have had a lot of time to contemplate and reflect my thoughts on life. And quite frankly, the end result is that I am grateful. I am so grateful for so many things, all of which are blessings from my God and Saviour. Mom and Angelica went to go babysit our friend's kids this morning, while Shannon and Kaitlin went to run some errands; this leaving just me and my dad at home. However, the entire morning he has been working away in the kitchen, making Greek yogurt. This leaves me to myself; alone and happily desolate. I spent the better portion of this morning laying in my bed, exhausted; vicodin can really do that to you. I know that my sleepiness and pure laziness is the healthy way to go about healing after surgery. So, for once in Rachel Elizabeth Barr's life, she will rest. And rest, and rest, and rest. I vow to rest until I am 98%. On the contrary, I do not believe that I should stop working just to heal, because I heal best by doing God's work, and by working at camp I get many opportunities to do so. In conclusion to that, I am working all week, and very grateful to do so. I complied a small list from the top of my head of what I find myself thanking God for the most. It goes a little something like this:

• I am grateful for God. I am grateful that He will never leave me, nor forsake me. I am grateful that I am His and He is mine; that He loved me even when I hated Him. All my gratefulness derives from my God.
• I am grateful that God has blessed me with a family who loves me, puts up with my terrible attitude, (especially the past two and a half months), who takes care of me, understands me, and again, who loves me; who would do anything for me. The love my family gives me is a love I'll never completely comprehend. I'm grateful that they encourage healthy living; physically, mentally, and spiritually. I'm grateful that we use our differences to learn and expand our minds, instead of let our personal thoughts destroy and divide us.
• I am also very grateful for my bed. I thank God every time I lay on it; I never complain about it. It is big so that means lots of cuddling with mom or Shannon or my dog, because since my surgery, I didn't want to be alone, so either of them kept my company a couple of the past nights. Since my surgery, I have only been able to sleep on my back, and couldn't imagine having to sleep on any other bed. My bed is also low to the ground, which allows easy access on and off, which has been very helpful since last week.
• Along with my bed, I am grateful for my room, and larger than that I am grateful for my house. I have managed to come up with a very swell reason as to why I think it has been a very big blessing to have lived in such a small house with 6 large people for 10 years. My reasoning is this, if we have all lived in this small house for 10 years, and still love each other more than ever today, then that just proves our love we have for each other. Living in small situations with a lot of people can be tough, especially if you're like me, and you need some time alone once in a while. However, we sure did manage to do so. Therefore, I am grateful for small houses.
• Another little one I am very grateful for is my dog. Granted, he can be a bit of high maintenance every now and then, but I love how intelligent he truly is. Even though he is an immature 5 year old, he really understands when it's time to be there for someone. He has really been there for me the past 2 months. I got very sick a couple months ago, and there he was, laying by my side, and sometimes on me; to be there for me. And this month he has done the same thing. Before my surgery I was somewhat in a slump, and depressed, and he wouldn't leave my side. After my surgery, he is still there for me, and insists on sleeping with me at night, and even take naps with me in the day time. He's such a cuddly little dog.

This may not have been a lot to be grateful for, and it sure is not the only things I am grateful for, rather, they are the things I have been most grateful for in recent times. The more I live, the more I become more grateful for fruitful things, rather than of fleeting, meaningless bits.
More to come,
-R