What Is Love? Baby Don't Hurt Me...

As a human being I tend to think a lot. The other day during General Clean-up I got to thinking: There are certain people who feel the need to emotionally hurt those they love, as a way of proving to themselves that the person they're hurting, does in fact, love them. Then I got to realizing that no matter how much certain people in my life hurt me, I cannot help but love them still. I find that sometimes, hurting others is a trait found in hurting people. It's more or so likely that they've been hurt in recent times or abandoned by those who have claimed to love them. So they begin this "hate fest", or habit, of hurting those they love as a test to see who actually sticks around in rough times. I try to be that "real friend" in my relationships with people. Of course people are going to let you down, and they will hurt you, but in the end, I feel that's it worth staying in certain people's lives in the end and investing in them; showing never ending love. I once wrote a letter to a friend but never sent it. Inside the letter I described what love meant to me. Love is not a feeling, and it's not just a word. To me, love is an attribute and can be shown through action. It's not a feeling, but it can lead people to feel a certain way. For instance, God is love. And love to me as an action is helping someone change for the better; walking with them endlessly, (even if it's at a distance.) you don't have to be "best friends" with someone in order to love them. So as all of this lingered on in my mind as I cleaned cabins around the camp, I found a letter under a mattress and it inflicted me.

If I had to choose one thing that tears me apart, it would have to be hurting people who want God, but can't seem to let go of things in their life which separates them from Him. Some people don't get it. They don't understand that you cannot expect to "feel God" if they're riding the fence of Christianity.

This letter makes me want to scream. I want to scream, "GOD'S THERE WITH YOU. HE'S EVERYWHERE. HE LOVES YOU. HE DESIRES A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. JUST OPEN YOUR HEART AND YOUR EYES; SEE HIM; FEEL HIM. LET GO OF THE FLEETING THINGS OF THIS WORLD. You can do it.." I hate this letter. I've been there; felt that way. I have felt lost and alone. I've been in that place where I ignored God, and listened intently on Satan's lies oh how I was "never good enough"; "never smart enough"; "never wanted by anyone". It's the worse feeling I've ever experienced. Worse than breaking my collar bone; worse than blowing out my left knee and feeling the pain from of my permanently internal bruised bone in cold weather. Being far from God is like having a never ending hunger pain. It's torture. And I never want to see anyone feeling this way. I don't. That's the truth from the bottom of my heart. And I have a message I suggest for anyone who isn't feeling close to God. For those can't see God, I recommend OPENING YOUR EYES. For those who can't hear God, you should probably take a minute to genuinely LISTEN. And for those who cannot feel God, LET GO of the things that drag us away from having a beautiful relationship with Him. It's moments in life like these that make camp clean-up well worth it. My eyes have been widen just a bit more. I have been reminded that there are people out there losing the battle of life between God and world. And for those people all I can do is love and pray for them. And show them God's love, even when it's hard to do so. I pray that whoever wrote this letter had a benefited time at camp last week, and that their relationship with God was strengthened, and that they'll be able to carry that strength throughout their life. I truly want everyone to know how perfect it feels to be in the center of God's will and plan for our individual lives; how safe and secure and promising it is...More to come.

-R